


The Head and The Heart

by journaliar



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F, F/M, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 13:17:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/journaliar/pseuds/journaliar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myka’s a he. Pete’s a she. And Helena is intrigued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Head and The Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a genderbend fic so I did. Warning though, i guess technically there's some hetero action so beware. Also its unbeta'd per usual.

Pete is the living, breathing embodiment of Murphy’s Law. It’s pretty much a fact.

So, when the two of you, along with Helena, go to retrieve Stanley Biber’s scalpel, you aren’t really sure why you’re surprised when things go wrong and its more or less Pete‘s fault.

///  
“Just do it.” Pete’s voice is panicked and shrill and so high pitched while he…she…he…watches you fumble with the static bag. “Hurry up!”

“I am. I am. Shut up.” You grunt, using your teeth to pull the edges of the bag apart because your giant hands aren‘t cooperating. “This is your fault….this is so your fault.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.” Pete declares, standing in his oversized clothes and you drop the scalpel into the bag while wearing nothing but the shreds of clothing you managed to scavenge.

There’s a sizzle and a pop but not much else.

Pete is still standing in front of you, a woman drowning in his clothes and you’re still a half naked man.

“Is too.”

///  
“Oh.”

You’re pretty sure that’s kind of an understatement. Helena is staring at the two of you with wide eyes and her mouth parted in shock and you have to admit, while her verbal assessment of the situation was lacking -especially considering her reputation- her physical reaction seems way more appropriate.

///  
“Oh my God.” Claudia’s voice blares from the Farnsworth in Helena’s hands and you rub at the back of your neck while you pace behind her. Your legs and feet feel too long and awkward as you walk and you wince at the sheer size of your own hand against the nape of your neck. “Let me see them! Are they hot?”

“Claudia, darling…” Helena pauses, glancing over at you and you meet her gaze helplessly, tugging at the remains of your button down shirt which is hanging in ruins from your broad, wide shoulders. “Could you please focus? There‘s a bit of a panic setting in here.”

You sigh, looking away and at Pete a few feet away who is staring down at his brand new chest in a mixture of horror and fascination.

“Pete?” You call, scratching at your short hair for a second before rubbing at your brow. “Pete?”

“Mykes, I’m a chick!” He exclaims in a screeching, girlish voice while panic warps his now feminine features and he attempts to pull his shirt up enough for you to see…things…. “Why is my rack so huge?! Look at these things!”

  
“Claudia!” You bellow in a deep voice that just isn‘t yours as you turn back to Helena and shove your newly masculine face into view. “Get Artie!”  
///

“Claude, make sure you call when you find something.” You say, staring at Claudia’s ecstatic expression on the screen of the Farnsworth.

“I’m on it. I’m on it.” She squeals. “Dude, this is like an that episode of Sabrina The Teenage Witch.”

“Claudia.” You groan and she just laughs.

“Alright! Don’t get your boxer briefs in a bunch.” She grins. “Claudia out.”

The screen goes black and you groan again just as the hotel door eases open.

“Are you okay, Darling?” HG murmurs gently, like she can see you grasping at control as the hotel room door closes loudly and you toss the Farnsworth on the bed behind you.

“Yes.” You grunt because technically, you are fine. Being suddenly devoid of breasts is way better than some of the other things you’ve been subjected to courtesy of the Warehouse .

“For your sake, I sincerely hope that this whole ordeal resolves itself quickly” Helena sighs as you flop backwards onto the hotel bed. “Though, selfishly, I am of the opinion that this situation isn’t quite so terrible as it appears now.”

You lift your head at the tone twisting her voice, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Sure you’d think that. You’re not the one with the extra…extras.”

“As regrettable as the circumstances are…you make a very attractive man.” Helena murmurs, dark eyes tracking from your knees to your face before sitting beside you.

You laugh, loud and awkward as a blush scorches its way up your neck. You shouldn’t be surprised because you know Helena, more intimately in recent weeks as instances of you finding yourself naked and sweaty with her have become more and more recurring. Helena is bold and interested and you should not be shocked that she’s intrigued by your sudden transformation.

“You like me like this? ” You groan, covering your eyes with your heavy palm. You jump a little as Helena’s dainty hand touches your knee, plucking at the denim of the brand new jeans you were forced to buy since you, what Pete referred to as ‘Hulked’ out of your clothes earlier.

“Look at me, Myka.” Helena orders gently and you do, flipping your hand and resting the curve of your wrist on your forehead. She leans over you, placing a kiss on your lips that feels weird, because it feels like you’re some kind of Sasquatch, but good. Then she kisses your chin, the corner of your mouth and you chuckle.

“What’re you doing?” You laugh as she kisses your cheek, then your brow before licking up the bridge of your nose. “Helena.”

“I’m attempting to cheer you up.” She murmurs, kissing your eyelids gently and you blink up at her when she‘s done. It feels like your brain is fogging up, graying at the edges where you’re still worrying about the artifact and your focus sharpens on Helena stretched out beside you on the bed while blood rushes to strangely familiar places. “Is it working?”

“A little bit.” You murmur, watching her bite her lip. You reach up to pull at the ends of her hair and the strand is just as soft as its always been but you frown at the hair on your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Ugh, I’m a monster.”

“You’re lovely as ever.” Helena breathes out while you coil her hair around your wide fingers. She traces the line of your jaw lightly, thumb swiping over your bottom lip and you watch her thoughtfully before guiding her mouth back to yours.

The kiss lasts seconds because there’s a womanly wail of your name from the room next door and Helena grins around your tongue.

“Pete’s calling, Darling.”

  
///  
So you have a penis.

According to Artie it’s not permanent but it does takes time to…fade away?…evaporate?…fall off?

He wasn’t particularly clear about that part of the process but the bottom line is that you and Pete are stuck like this until it wears off.

“Well, this is quite the situation.” Helena murmurs, clearly intrigued, on the red-eye flight home, tapping a dainty finger against your hairy knuckle while you struggle to not knee yourself in the face. “Isn’t it?”

You and Helena haven’t been….well, you haven’t been whatever the hell you two are for very long but you know her well enough to know that that is not as innocent a tone as it may seem.

You glance down at her hand, delicate and fine boned, before looking up at Helena who is watching you intently. Too intently.

“Uh, yeah. I guess.” You grunt, sound rumbling up from your chest in a way that is totally new. You clear your throat, turning your head to watch a slumbering Pete shift in his seat across the aisle and you shift in your own chair. “These seats are, like, ridiculously small.”

Helena just hums in agreement.

///  
A week later and you’re still a man.

Which, okay, you’re pretty sure you’re handling this whole thing better than Pete…Or Patricia as everyone has taken to calling him while out and about. A name chosen by Pete for use in public in order to avoid peaked interested from strangers. But just because you’re not having a complete melt down over underwear, like Pete, and you’ve been blessed with a unisex name, doesn’t mean you’re not a little freaked when you wake up with morning wood.

“So, are we all just gonna ignore the fact that you‘re a totally hottie or what?” You glance up from the book open in your lap and at Claudia who is standing in the doorway, staring at you in a way that makes you shift in the arm chair your sitting in uncomfortably. “Ugh, you would be.”

“I…What?” You swallow, glancing at Helena at the other end of the couch, who has yet to look up from her own novel but is smirking down at the pages along with Leena who wanders into the living room behind Claudia. “Claud, stop it.”

“Its true.” Leena offers with an easy smile and you can feel the blood rushing to your face as she moves to drop down beside Helena on the couch. “You are.”

“No.” You groan, rolling your eyes. “Everyone just shut up.”

“I have to admit I’m in agreement.” Helena says, finally looking up at you and you know your eyebrows shoot to your hairline. “It would seem you are quite easy on the eyes as either gender.”

“Dude, you’ve got curls like a Jonas brother and eyes like a vampire. Not to mention you’re, like, giant tall.” Claudia points out helpfully before she pantomimes holding up a judges score card. “ I give you a solid ten. Total panty dropper.”

“Nope. No. Nope.” You choke out, shaking your head and pushing to your feet. “I’m not trying to drop anyone’s panties! This-this conversation is over!”

You walk out of the room to girlish giggles and a distinctly British sounding whistle.

///  
“So, I have to wear a bra all the time?” Pete demands, tugging at the clasp of his bra through his blouse. “Because these things hurt!”

“You don’t have to.” You mumble through a mouthful of eggs and its like ever since you turned into male Myka, you can’t stop eating. Though on the flipside, you haven’t gained a pound either and sometimes its not fair how easy guys have it.

“But if I let the boys hang loose 24/7, then dudes are gonna be eyeballing me all the time. Right?” He says, doing a ridiculous shimmy/jiggle move that catches your attention in a way that makes you flush bright red while simultaneously nearly choking to death on your eggs.   
  
///  
Being a man is weird.

You’re still you, essentially, but now there’s testosterone flooding your system constantly and extra hair and parts and-and its just weird.

You have these overwhelming urges to display your masculinity and that tends to manifests itself in you proudly opening stubborn jars for an amused Leena or intimidating the guy at the video store who insists on being a pervert around Claudia. It also means a lot of the time your mind drifts to the weirdest, most inappropriate places and most of the time those bouts of lost focus center around Helena.

Admittedly, Helena has always been a source of distraction for you but now it’s a little harder to focus on things that aren’t her. Your body is out of whack, your hormones unbalanced and you can’t help it. And it’s a lot more…obvious when your focus wanes towards Helena-centric thoughts.

“Dude, stop staring.” Pete grunts, dropping a heavy file on the table before sitting down beside you. Artie’s office is buzzing with excitement due to the latest ping but instead of flipping through the stack of info in front of you, you’re staring at Helena’s ass.

You glance at Pete, breast then eyes, before burying your face in your hands with a groan.

“Being a man is the worst!” You grunt and Pete’s dainty hand pats your shoulder sympathetically.

“Hey, being a chick is no better.” He points out when you lift your head pathetically to look at him. “I just found out what, exactly, periods are!”

///  
“So, how’ve you been holding up?” Pete asks conversationally, wiping his shaving cream covered hands on the towel slung over your shoulder before picking up the razor from beside the sink.

“I burp a lot.” You mutter darkly, wincing a little at the first drag of the razorblade down your shaving cream covered cheek but for once it doesn’t feel like you’re using a potato peeler on your face. “Oh, wow.”

“Ta-da.” Pete hums, smiling in a way that’s all Pete…if Pete was a reasonably attractive woman. He pulls back to dip the razor in the half filled sink. “Hey, can I ask you about something?”

“Not if its about thongs.” You mumble, watching Pete’s eyes dilate as he focuses on easing the razor down your jaw.

“Okay, then can I ask you something else?” He wonders, dropping the razor in the water again.

“Yeah, I guess.” And your gaze wanders to his stupid mouth before you just close your eyes again. “What is it?”

“It’s hard being a chick, huh?” He asks and you open one eye and he guides your head back while he shaves down your neck. “Like, I get that I’m a babe and if I were me I’d be all over myself too.”

“That didn’t make sense.” You mumble and Pete’s brow furrows.

“Sure it did.” He says, sticking his tongue out in concentration. “All I’m saying is, I didn’t know being a woman was so…I dunno…guys are always hitting on you and even when you say no, it becomes a negotiation. I’ve been dodging penis nonstop since this whole thing started.”

“Unfortunately, you get use to it.” You sigh and Pete licks his lips, quickly leaning over to clean the razor.

“I just wanna say I’m sorry, ya know, if I ever made you feel….” He starts and you shake your head, making Pete pull the razor away from your throat while you look up at him.

“Pete.” You sigh and Pete meets your gaze. “We’re good.”

“Okay.” He nods, “Okay, good.”

You watch him gnaw on his bottom lip for a moment in this ridiculously attractive way before he speaks again. “So, how’s stuff with Helena.”

“She keeps staring at me.” You sigh, looking away from Pete’s stupid face and blankly over his shoulder.

“I’m new to this whole women’s intuition and stuff but my estrogen is telling me she wants to get it on with Mr. Myka.”

You jerk so hard that Pete nicks your cheek.  
///

“Artie’s a monster.” You mumble, tugging at the collar of your shirt in annoyance while Pete teeters in his heels in front of you. “You know, he-he was smiling when he gave us this mission because he knew…he knew…”

“Ugh, I know. Its like, what is his deal? “ Pete grunts, lifting the hem of his white gown in frustration.

The minister standing between the two of you clears his throat quietly and you nod at him, blatantly ignoring the tacky wedding décor surrounding the two you and especially Pete wobbling in front of you in heels and a wedding dress.’ “Can we continue.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Pete says and you glance at the crowd nervously, your eyes fall on HG roaming the back of the cheesy Vegas wedding, but her eyes lock onto yours with a smirk for just a heartbeat.

“We’re gathered here today to unite this man, Myka, and this woman, Patricia, in holy matrimony.” The minister begins and you wince while Pete looks like he’s going to be sick.

This whole charade, of course, is for an artifact. You’re looking for Marguerite de Valois’ wedding ring which causes a riot during the ceremony. This little Vegas chapel has had a string of unprovoked outbursts of violence so the artifact is in here somewhere.

“Myka, do you take Patricia to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The minister asks and now you feel like you’re going to puke. Pete is pale and shaking his head no and when you glance at Helena again she’s laughing.

“I, uh” You start thickly and you’ve never ever been more grateful than when an Elvis impersonator picks up a chair and breaks it over your back.  
///

You’ve been a man for over two weeks when Helena walks in on you changing though you have the sneaking suspicion that its not her first attempt. She’s made a new habit of entering rooms unannounced.

“Hello.” She greets, voice way too friendly and your shirt is halfway over your head.

“Helena?” You squeak, backing up into the dresser behind you and she laughs then hands are pulling your shirt off of your head.

“Where you expecting someone else?” she asks, eyes amused when you cover your chest with your shirt.

“No. Of course not.” you laugh nervously as Helena edges closer and you slide away from the dresser behind you. Helena’s eyes flit to your body and you flush bright red.

“My, you are lovely.” Helena murmurs and you swallow and laugh a little at her word choice.

“My dad would love to hear that.” You grunt and Helena’s features quirk.

“Your father?”

“I’m finally the man my dad wanted to be and a pretty girl is calling me lovely.” You point out, tossing your shirt across the room into the hamper. “He’d be just…”

“Is that what has you so worked up about this situation?” Helena asks and you shrug.

“Besides the penis and the body hair and the digestion issues….yeah.” You admit and Helena grins at you, teeth sharp and gleaming. You swallow stupidly and Helena moves even closer until her hand is curving over your shoulder while she glances blatantly at your chest.

“Myka, you are a remarkable person. Fully female or temporarily male, you father loves you.” She says earnestly and you remember the late night admission of daddy issues with Helena wrapped around your back in bed a few weeks ago.

“It’s just weird to finally be what he wanted.” You admit and Helena cups your face in both hands, forcing your eyes to hers.

“Myka, you’ve always been what he wanted.” Helena murmurs before stretching upwards on her toes to kiss your nose. “You’re what I’ve always wanted as well.”

“Minus the dick.” You sigh and Helena laughs.

“Myka, I want you for your brilliant mind and your wonderful heart.” She says honestly, a pretty smile taking over her face and butterflies fill your stomach at her declaration.

“I bet you say that to all the girls trapped in guys‘ bodies.” You whisper before kissing her quickly and she rolls her eyes.

“Only the extraordinary ones.” She huffs brushing a kiss over your brow.

“Have you inspected it?” Helena asks, pulling back and trailing a hand down your chest. You watch her circle around you as absently cover your chest. “This new body of yours?”

You flush all the way down your belly and Helena stops in front of you, tugging your hands away. “I-I know of it but I haven’t…ex-examined it or anything like that.”

“So, you’ve no idea if everything is in working order?” She wonders innocently except not at all because she has you cornered in your own bedroom, stalking you like you’re prey or something. It’s unnerving and a little menacing but so sexy that your blood is rushing definitively downward.

“I, uhm, I’m pretty sure most of the…ya know, plumbing is working.” you cough and she arches an eyebrow at you before stepping closer and pressing up on her toes to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“Helena.” You warn quietly, keeping your arms at your side even as she uses her fingertips against your jaw to tip your mouth down against hers. “Helena, I…”

“It’s okay.” She breathes quietly, hands hot on your flushed skin. Her hand slides over your chest, down your stomach to hook in the waste of your jeans and you wince as your stupid body goes from zero to one hundred in a breath, pulling back with a groan as you harden in your jeans.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper and Helena actually laughs, low and throaty. “This is really embarrassing.”

“I have to say I’m in disagreement.” She whispers, hands finding and undoing your fly and your knees nearly buckle when she bites down on your shoulder.

“What’re you doing?!” You squeak even as denim gives way to her searching hand and slim fingers are wrapping around the penis you’re currently the owner of.

“God.” You hiss, pressing your lips to Helena’s hair while you cup the back of her head in your huge palm.

“What does it feel like?” Helena murmurs quietly and you frown, exhaling sharply as sensation pulls deep in your stomach and words fail you spectacularly.

Instead of answering you manage a pathetic sound that makes Helena chuckle.

“It would appear that I have rendered you speechless.” She says before easing to her knees in front of you and your fairly certain you’re currently having some sort of aneurysm.

“Holy…” You trail off breathlessly, glancing down at Helena with your dick in her hand and nearly falling over. Admittedly, seeing her on her knees like this is nothing new but you’ve never been able to see it without feeling like your entire body was one moment from exploding and now is no different.   
Well, kind of different…on account of the penis.

“Are-are you sure?” You manage to ask and Helena only yanks down your jeans some more with her free hand and presses a kiss to your thigh before taking all of you into her mouth.

It’s a strange feeling, Helena taking you into her mouth like this. Distantly, its familiar, the heat of her mouth and her tongue curling around you but its intense in a different way. Instead of searing, slick contact and building pressure its soft, wet heat and pulling suction that makes you press your hips forward with a weak groan.

You only last a few minutes which is embarrassing, though, in all fairness, you’ve only had this thing for a couple of weeks. The orgasm feels like it pulls from the pit of your belly and through your groin like lava and you make a incredibly unattractive sound, squeeze your eyes shut and struggle to breathe.

It’s quiet for a long moment, just your quiet gasps filling the air and you half expect Helena to chuckle quietly in amusement but when you pry your eyes open to look at her she’s watching you with dark, hot eyes and _you_ all over her hands while she strokes you idly and drags electricity down your nerves.

“That was incredible.” Helena finally whispers, kissing your thigh again and you run your fingers through her hair and try to stay upright.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m supposed to say.” You whisper, gazing down at her.

And that’s exactly how Pete finds the two of you a second later when he more or less kicks in your bedroom door with an armful of women's magazines.

“Mykes! How come you never told me these things are like the Holy Gra-OH MY GOD!”

///

Later, when you’re done holding back Pete’s hair while he rubs soap into his eyes, Helena finds you in the kitchen and sidles up to your side quietly.

“How’s Pete?” She questions, watching you fumble with cookie you’re trying to sneak.

“He claims to be scarred for life.” You laugh and Helena only hums while you take a bite of your chocolate chip cookie. You watch as Helena takes the remaining half of your cookie right out of your hand and takes a bite of her own.

“He‘ll heal, I‘m sure.” Helena hums before licking her lips and leaning in close while your eyes lock onto her mouth. The Farnsworth buzzes in your back pocket and you consider throwing it across the room. “I’d like to explore that situation further with less interruptions, if time permits.”

///

Time does not, in fact, permit.

Helena and Claudia go out on quick retrieval mission from a museum in Nebraska and Artie forces you and Pete to do inventory all night.

You wake up the next morning to Pete’s whoops of joy ringing through the B&B and you’re stumbling out of bed and in the hallway before you realize that you’re about five inches shorter and in possession of breast.

“Myka! I‘m me again!” Pete greets loudly, sliding on the hardwood in his socks, goofy grin spread across his face. You smile back at him, your own excitement skyrocketing because you feel like yourself again. The you that you’ve grown to love and appreciate even more now for not having testicles.

Later, Helena only smiles warmly when you tell her the good news over the Farnsworth. You frown a little as you wander down the Warehouse aisles, gazing down at Helena’s face.

“You’re not happy.” You say and Helena laughs lowly, pushing her hair out of her face.

“Darling, I’m ecstatic that you’ve returned to fine form and have every intention to worship every inch of that feminine form when I return home.” Helena says and you laugh.

“But.” You offer pointedly and Helena rolls her eyes at you.

“Admittedly, I find myself wishing that your change had occurred after I’d returned. I’d have liked another opportunity to indulge in your change of gender.”

You stop walking and stare down dumbly at Helena’s face. “Oh.”

  
///

“I know you wanted to do stuff when I was, you know, packing heat or whatever.” You call through the bathroom door, staring at yourself and attempting to fight off the epic blush threatening to flush you head to toe while you adjust the straps at your hips nervously.

“Darling, its fine.” Helena answers and you can practically picture her stretched out in your bed with a book. “I’m more than content with your lovely body and if you come out of the bathroom I’d be more than happy to demonstrate my devotion.”

“Okay.” You say through the wood, stroking your hand over the bright red rubber dildo jutting from your hips. It had taken all of your willpower and more than one pep talk to head into the sex shop just outside of Univille but you tell yourself again that this will all be worth it before turning towards the door and opening it. “But you can’t laugh.”

“Darling, why on earth would I…” She trails off as you emerge, failing miserably to contain your blush and wearing nothing but a black harness. And she’s just how you imagine she would be but she closes her book as you walk closer, setting it on the nightstand before sitting up.

“I look stupid and-and I know its not the same thing…” You start but Helena is biting her lip as you stand in front of her at the side of the bed, fingers lifting to touch the head of the strap-on.

“You do not look stupid.” She exhales, glancing up at you with wide, dilated eyes before taking your hand and pulling you onto the mattress with her. “Hello.”

“Hi.” You grin before leaning in to kiss her.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
